… The Hidden Economic Risks Behind Marrying for Security
Marriage is celebrated as a symbol of love and stability in Nigeria. But why is it now seen as an escape from poverty? This indepth analysis examines economic hardship, gender roles, and the hidden risks of marrying for financial security.
Marriage built on financial expectations collapse when income disappears writes Ikenwa Charity Ogochukwu.
Parents advise their daughters to “marry someone who is comfortable” or from a wealthy family, while young men feel pressured to delay marriage until they are financially capable of “providing.” In many homes, marriage is spoken of as insurance against poverty, with some parents believing it will secure not only their children’s future but also their own.
Yet Nigeria’s lived experience presents a sobering truth: marriage does not cure poverty. In fact, when entered into for economic survival rather than partnership, it often deepens hardship and emotional distress.
Traditionally, marriage in Nigeria is a union not just between two individuals but between families. Bride price, elaborate ceremonies, and extended family obligations reflect the cultural weight attached to the institution. In many communities, marriage symbolizes responsibility, honour, and adulthood.
Economics has always played a role. In agrarian societies, marriage increased labour capacity. In urban Nigeria today, however, the cost of marriage, rent, school fees, medical bills, social expectations has risen sharply. Despite this, marriage is still promoted as a pathway to stability, especially in a country where poverty affects over 40 percent of the population.(National Bureau of Statistics, 2022, Nigeria Multidimensional Poverty Index Report;World Bank 2023-Nigeria Poverty Assessment).
1. Widespread Economic Hardship
With rising inflation, unemployment, and underemployment, many Nigerians see limited pathways to financial stability ( National Burea of Statistics, 2023-Labour Force Statistics; NBS,2024-Consumer Price Index Report). According to National Statistics, millions of graduates roam the street jobless (NBS Labour Force Report, 2023). In this environment, marriage to a financially stable partner appears to be a lifeline.
In urban centres like Lagos, Abuja, and Port Harcourt, young women are often encouraged to marry men with cars, houses, or strong social connections, under the assumption that such marriages guarantee comfort.
2. Gender Expectations and Dependency
Nigerian society largely expects men to be providers and women to be dependents. This cultural norm pushes many women to view marriage as their primary economic plan. Statements like “a woman’s husband is her ATM,” though often said jokingly, reveal deeply ingrained attitudes ( UN Women Nigeria, 2023, World Economic Forum, 2024-Global Gender Gap Report).
As a result, some women abandon career ambitions early, hoping marriage will secure their future.
3. Family Pressure as Survival Strategy
In poorer households, marriage sometimes becomes a collective economic strategy. Families may push daughters to marry wealthy suitors to ease financial burdens or support siblings’ education. In some rural communities, early marriage is still justified as a way to reduce household expenses (UNICEF Nigeria, 2023 -Child Marriage Fact Sheets; NDHS, 2018).
4. Fear of Social and Economic Insecurity
Nigeria’s weak social welfare system means illness, unemployment, or widowhood can quickly plunge families into poverty.( World Bank, 2022, Social Safety Nets in Nigeria; International Labour Organization, 2023, Social Protection Report). Marriage is often seen as protection against these uncertainties, particularly for women.
5. Desire for Social Mobility
Marrying into wealth can bring instant access to better housing, schools, healthcare, and social networks. For some, it feels like a faster route to comfort than years of struggling in a difficult economy.
Why Marriage Cannot Solve Poverty
Nigeria offers countless examples taht has shown that marriage is not a solution to poverty:
Many households are double,two unemployed or underpaid spouses struggling together( World Bank, 2023, Nigeria Development Update).
Economics shocks such as fuel subsidy removal , inflation or job losses affects married and single people alike (IMF,2023-Nigeria Article IV Consultaion Report; NBS, 2024 CPI Report)
Dependency increases vulnerability to domestic abuse and exploitation (NDHS, 2018; CLEENFiundation, 2023-Gender Based Violence Report).
.Widows and divorced women often severe economic hardship despite having married (World Bank 2023; UN Women Nigeria 2023).
.Marriage does not generate income; skills education, enterprise, and opportunity do.
Real-life experiences across Nigeria reveal the dangers of treating marriage as an escape from hardship.
Many marriages crumble when a daughter is pushed into marrying a wealthy man with the belief that it will lift her family out of poverty. She enters the marriage expecting comfort and generosity, only to discover that the man is stingy, controlling, or emotionally unavailable.
Frustration soon replaces hope. The home becomes tense. Communication breaks down. Emotional withdrawal follows. What was meant to be a financial rescue turns into a restless and unhappy union. The marriage begins to deteriorate because it was built on expectation rather than compatibility and shared values.
Dependency Creates Power Imbalance: Consider the case of Kelvin and Stephanie.
Kelvin married Stephanie largely because of her family’s wealth. In the early days of the marriage, he appeared affectionate and attentive, serving her breakfast in bed and doing everything possible to please her, especially since she was financially supporting him.
Before the wedding, Kelvin claimed to be involved in importation and exportation and had a financial constraints, Stephanie’s father gave him ₦50 million to boost his business, urging him to take good care of his daughter.
However, just a few months into the marriage, Kelvin’s behaviour changed. He became controlling and emotionally manipulative. Stephanie found herself paying for most household expenses. Affection and intimacy became transactional. She had to provide money before receiving basic emotional or marital consideration.
What began as a marriage secured by wealth exposed deep character flaws and unhealthy dependency. Stephanie’s story mirrors the experience of many women trapped in financially manipulative relationships.
Wealth Does Not Guarantee Long-Term Security
There are also cases where wealthy couples generously supported extended family members, paying school fees, setting up businesses for siblings and in-laws, and providing regular financial assistance.
But when such couples died unexpectedly in an accident, the same relatives they had supported began fighting their children over property. Entitled siblings demanded continued financial benefits and contested ownership of assets. Instead of protecting the children, wealth became the source of conflict and legal battles.
Nigeria has also witnessed public disputes over the estates of prominent executives. In some cases, after the death of a high-profile bank CEO, extended family members engaged in prolonged legal struggles over property, leaving the deceased’s children to face emotional and financial uncertainty.
These examples highlight a painful truth: marriage to wealth does not eliminate vulnerability. Without independent economic capacity and proper structures, financial security can evaporate quickly.
The Hidden Costs of Economically Motivated Marriages
While some marriages may temporarily improve living conditions, the hidden costs are significant:
.Power imbalance: Financial dependence can silence one partner’s voice(UN Women Nigeria, 2023)
.Tolerance of abuse: Many remain in unhealthy marriages out of fear of poverty(NDHS,2018)
Loss of ambition: Personal dreams and careers are sacrificed for survival.
Emotional dissatisfaction: Financial comfort does not guarantee respect or happiness.
Intergenerational instability: Children raised in tense, economically transactional homes often internalise unhealthy relationship models.
Marriage does not generate income. Skills, education, entrepreneurship, and opportunity do.
How Couples and Society Can Shift the Narrative
Economic Empowerment: Job creation, vocational training, and support for small businesses must be prioritised.
Education, Especially for Girls: Educated women are less likely to marry for survival and more likely to contribute meaningfully within marriage.
Cultural Reorientation: Families and religious institutions should promote purpose driven partnerships rather than glorifying “marrying rich.”
Stronger Social Safety Nets: Functional healthcare, pension systems, and unemployment support would reduce fear-driven marriages.
Relationship and Financial Literacy: Young people need education on shared responsibility, compatibility, and financial planning before marriage.
Conclusion
Marriage is a beautiful and valuable institution, but it is not an economic policy. When used as a poverty alleviation scheme, it becomes a burden rather than a blessing.
Nigeria’s poverty crisis requires structural solutions in education, employment, sound governance, and empowerment , not marital arrangements. Only when individuals are economically secure on their own can marriage truly thrive as a partnership built on love, dignity, and shared growth.
