By Homto Zaida Dokpesi
Do you know there are so many things you can actually aspire to?
Do you remember when you were just a little girl and everyone was excited on your first day at school.
The all famous Simbi with her hair parted into four and wrapped in black thread and your picture was proudly put up in the book “Ali and Simbi”.
Your parents had big dreams.
I bet they said to themselves” just like papilo, one day simbi go blow.
Now you are done with your education, served the country for the mandatory one year.
You have trekked on the streets looking for a place to earn a living just as you have tried the streets of Zuckerberg but none is forthcoming.
Owu is giving you uppercut from left and right but still on still nothing can kill your steeze.
You maintain gidigba
If the rainbow can still bless the sky with its appearance one day, one day my own stew go done.
Then Risi brings her wedding invitation card, then it’s Eze, then it’s Bisi, then it’s Sola.
Why is everyone getting married but me you begin to ask yourself?
Then all of a sudden papa is tired of this strong faith you have and decides since you cannot get a job to earn a living, at least you should go out and find a husband.
You are young, you are beautiful.
You have the eyes of your mother and the waist that never let him concentrate on his farm land.
The waist that made him hunt the biggest animals to bring to your mother’s father every evening with freshly tapped palm wine.
You are fertile, he has paid for your education, a man must find you worthy.
Mama on the other side always tells you tales of how when she was your age, she had already given birth to you and your younger brother and was expecting her third child.
Then she mildly adds, “I want to carry your children before I die oh”.
Depression slowly sets in as you cannot find a man who would commit to protect and provide for you.
The smile your father always bragged about no longer appears on your face.
Your skin that was robust and would glow like the bright sun suddenly is dull and lacks lustre.
You are slowly becoming a shadow of yourself in a bid to dance the dance your elders have danced.
Stop pressurising yourself beautiful young lady into something you are not actually ready for.
It is not about age, it is not about all my friends are married, it’s not about when would I have kids?
It is about you if you are matured, mentally ready, financially ready, psychologically ready to embrace marriage and all it brings
Find a hobby you are passionate about, learn a skill that would bring out the best in you and may also earn you an income.
Take care of yourself because loving yourself is the greatest gift of all.
A wise old woman once told me, when a woman is happy and takes good care of herself, she would glow like freshly tapped palm wine.
Most times when you least expect it, the things you desire come to you.
Stay happy Simbi
May destiny give you the peace you truly desire.
Written by Homto Zaida Dokpesi ( Author of The price of Friendship , Scarred, The Mistress, Mysterious Lover, The pink Tulip and the Grace around my Head).
