By Bruno Oaikhinan
I’m 55 years old, I have worked with God, men and women. I have promised myself at this my later years to share my experiences so the younger generation can learn one or two things and apply the lessons to their life, business or career and relationships with people.
Human beings operate in three dimensions— inspirational, transactional and experiential levels
Each human being has a default setting depending on the environment. Few are inspirational with a conscience. Some are transactional with common sense or intelligence while others are experiential with feelings.
Nowadays, many people are in the transactional and experiential category especially women but only a few are in the inspirational level.
Today I want to talk about the few women I have met so far. The first lady I ever got serious with, left me to marry another man. We dated for over 8 years. I wanted to marry her but l didn’t have enough resources. It’s obvious why she left me. It wasn’t experiential or inspirational reasons but for transactional one.
I met another lady and we got married. I accepted her because of my default setting. I’m inspirational. She told me about a five months pregnancy she aborted when she was younger.
Her mum was aware of it. When we got married, she was desperate to have children and that led to our divorce. Even when I suggested we could adopt a child because I knew she was infertile, she refused.
I saw a test report that she was hiding from me but I didn’t let her know I saw it. I did everything possible to keep the marriage for four years.
We had a business, she insisted she wanted to have it, l left it for her and got employment in a bank. I was pained because the relationship with her frustrated my intentions to go into full time ministry.
I met another woman and we got married. I deliberately insisted I wasn’t doing court and church weddings because of my previous experience. She agreed. We were living happily until I lost my bank job. She had an affair with a family friend, a married man.
I wasn’t happy about it because in the over ten years relationship in marriage with her, I never kissed or had an affair with any other woman. I was gradually getting back to ministry again. I forgave her. I only mentioned it to her mum. I guessed she never forgave herself.
When I moved her and my children to America, I observed her behaviour has changed. I tried my best to keep the relationship until she told me she was emotionally disconnected from me and she wanted to move on with her life. I accepted and that put a stop on what I wanted to do in America.
I was glad my children are of age and with little assistance from me, they can survive.
If anyone had told me many years ago that I could divorce and be separated, I would have said, it was a lie. If anyone had told me that I would give up ministry for business many years ago, I would have said it’s a lie. Today, I’m a successful businessman.
Sometimes, things don’t happen or go the way we planned. But if you have God, it don’t matter whatever situation you found yourself.
He will work it out for your good. I’m 55 years old now, divorced and separated, the devil still hasn’t given up on trying to frustrate my intentions of going into full time ministry.
Now he is fighting to destroy my business in IkejaCityMall through dollarisation.
In all these, God has removed shame from me, I don’t feel pained, my mind is alert and fully enjoying my freedom in Christ and in this world. There’s no marriage or business in heaven. Marriage and business is not a do or die thing. God is more than enough for me.
Throughout the years, even in difficulties and challenges, He has made Himself manifest to me. I’m not moved by what I see or feel, I’m only moved by God’s Word.
Devil, women and Nigeria has showed me hell on earth 🤣🤣🤣
