By Taju Tijani
“Ntoi, shebi I told you say you go regret this Korope wey you buy wan drive for Naija,” Kunle Adams said, looking straight at the reaction of his friend. Minutes went by. No word from Kolade Iyanda his bosom friend of many years.
The stuffy Bunny Lounge off Ring Road bust into life. The young, tall deejay sent the merrymakers into another round of Afrobeats frenzy. Kola is Afrobeats fanatic and could waltz anything dropped by the talented gang of Davido, Whizkid, Burna Boy, Asake, Flavour, Kiss Daniel and others.
Kunle swigged his brandy hurriedly and joined Kola on the dance floor. There was a mild competition as Kola majestically performed all the latest dance moves currently trending in the clubs. His stretched jeans, Gucci top and Nike trainers fitted him perfectly. Kunle too wore a dark jean trouser, DKNY top and Air trainers.
They killed the night having fun and club crawling until the break of dawn. There was a total absence of inhibitions at their age. They cared less about the younger fun seekers milling around them. They are sexagenarians but you could bet your last penny that the Bohemian spirit of juvenility was still in their DNA.
Kola is conservative, bookish and reserved. Kunle is boisterous, assertive, on-your-face, funny, business minded and a lover of life. Kola took a stroll outside the lounge and came back with load of suya and shawarma.
They feasted on the delicacies like hungry kids. In between, they sipped their brandy and swayed their heads to the music and occasionally belched out long laughs. They had spent their 30s, 40s, 50s and early 60s in London.
Now they are revenging on the years of grind through a carefree, happy-oriented and easy living lifestyle of rest, fun and looking good. They spend their retirement on self-care, good food, good wine, travels and seeking fun.
In the UK, they drove prestige cars. Kola drove Mercedes Benz. Kunle drove BMW. They lived in North London and retired from the Council this year. Kola from Hackney Council and Kunle from Lambeth. Both friends tasted freedom when they separated from their wives some years back.
They celebrated their liberation in a Naija restaurant in Ilford. Both vowed not to remarry. And 8 years on, they have remained consistent bachelors. They are now enjoying the second chapter of their lives.
Kola has a house in Ibadan and Lagos. Kunle is a Lagosian and has a pad in Epe. But through pressure and friendly suasion, Kola was able to convince Kunle to build in Ibadan. They now live yards from each other.
Kola is simple and does not care about what people say. He lives an idealistic life shorn of pretense. Kunle is the clear opposite. He lives a realistic existence and adapted well to life in Naija. Kunle dresses well. Grooms well. Wears the best colognes. Mind what car he drives. And where he goes. As soon as he landed in Nigeria he bought a Prado jeep. Image matters a lot to him.
Kola is not too sartorially elegant. Wears any available perfume from Dugbe. Worse, he drives around Ibadan in a grey Korope bus. The bus was bought, packaged and painted in Ladipo in Lagos. The western idealism of simple and non-ostentatious lifestyle made him buy the Korope. The Korope is neat.
The seats are clean and has capacity for extra 6 passengers. He doted on the bus and used it as his commuter car. Kunle detested the low life of Kola and has been calling him out to junk his Korope.
“Kunle, I heard you when you asked me about my Korope as we were about to enter into the Bunny Lounge,” Kola started, looking straight at his friend. “So, what is your experience with that bus in Naija,” Kunle further queried. Kola smiled and shook his head. He gave Kunle a long look suggestive of conceding that Kunle had been right from the start. His experience had been a mixed bag of disappointment, scorn and complete disregard from his community.
“Kunle, guess what, when I travelled to Tokyo, the Japanese had pride in driving this Korope. Nobody looked down on the other for driving the bus. It was a convenient, rugged, and daily car for commute in Tokyo.
In fact, my host, had one. I fell in love with its compactness, its money saving on petrol, styling and petiteness. It was in Tokyo I decided that I will buy the same car and use it in Naija o,” Kola explained.
“Enhennn, since you have been commuting in that car what is your experience from the community, other road users and other friends,” Kunle asked. “My experience, ki lo mean?” “Ore, you heard me right. What is the reaction of your local residents, police, FRSC and other traffic enforcers in Ibadan as you commute in that bus?”
“Ok, oro po nbe. You see Nigerians tore my idealism into shreds. I just could not understand this society. Simply put, they ignored, hated, despised, harassed and intimidated me in that bus. People looked down on me.
They had this look of pity toward me anytime I am in the Korope. They assumed that I am a poor old man who could not afford expensive cars that scream success and prosperity. They wanted me to be like the other rich Joneses in jeeps and prestige cars like yours.
Everybody thought that I use the bus for commercial purpose to ferry passengers. Bus stop passengers hailed me to stop thinking that I am agbero looking for commuters.”
“How were you then treated by the traffic enforcers like police, FRSC, OYRTMA, revenue officers and the like,” Kunle pressed further.
“Wo, gbagbe awon yen jare. They harassed me tire. Even though my license plate was private, all of these traffic enforcers treated me as a commercial driver. You see them asking for my basket, revenue receipts and all sorts. Things that you do not need in your Merc. I got so fed up but guess what, I won’t be defeated yet. I am still enjoying that Korope a lot,” Kola explained.
As the dawn broke, two pretty ladies asked Kola for a lift. He was jittery at the reaction of the ladies if they found out that he came to the lounge in Korope. Kunle was watching like a detective as he strolled confidently towards his Merc.
Suddenly, the ladies froze when Kola approached the Korope. They backtracked and asked Kunle if he was going towards Ososami. They dived into Kunle’s car while Kola pondered in his bus unable to leave the car park for minutes.
To be continued…
First Published by the Niche