In our personal and professional lives, we often encounter individuals who appear to be friendly and supportive, but secretly harbour intentions that can harm or hurt us. These “friendly enemies” can be more damaging than overt adversaries, as they often gain our trust before striking.
Friendly enemies can take many forms. They may be colleagues who pretend to be helpful but actually sabotage our work or friends who gossip about us behind our backs. They may even be family members who manipulate and control us under the guise of love and concern.
The following tips can help us protect ourselves from these friendly enemies:
- Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off about a person’s behaviour or words, trust your instincts. Don’t ignore that nagging voice in your head.
- Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with others to protect your time, energy, and emotions. Learn to say “no” without feeling guilty.
- Watch for Red Flags: Pay attention to inconsistencies in someone’s words and actions. If they fail to follow through on commitments, it may be a sign of insincerity.
- Surround Yourself with Positive People: The company you keep can greatly impact your life. Surround yourself with the right people and avoid those who drain your energy.
- Practice Self-Care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. When you feel grounded and confident, you are less likely to be swayed by friendly enemies.
- Be Aware of Manipulative Tactics: Friendly enemies may use manipulative tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing the victim to control and influence you. Be aware of these tactics and don’t fall for them.
- Don’t Confuse Niceness with Kindness: Just because someone is nice to you doesn’t mean they have your best interests at heart. Kindness is about genuinely caring for someone’s well-being, while niceness can be a facade.
- Keep Your Personal Life Private: Be cautious about sharing personal details with just anyone. Keep your personal life private and only share information with trusted individuals.
- Don’t Ignore Passive-Aggressive Behaviour: Passive-aggressive behaviour can be a sign of a friendly enemy. Don’t ignore behaviours such as backhanded compliments, sarcasm, or subtle put-downs.
- Prioritize Your Own Needs: Prioritize your own needs and desires. Don’t compromise your values or sacrifice your own happiness to appease someone who may not have your best interests at heart.
Worth Thinking About:
The fact that you had your past with some people does not mean they have to feature in your future.
Note:
Protect yourself and avoid unnecessary stress and harm that can come from unhealthy relationships. Remember, not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.
I Wish You A Great Weekend!
Gbenga Emiloju (DMPII)
